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The Man's Guide To Female English

  • We need - I want
  • It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now
  • Do what you want - You'll pay for this later
  • We need to talk - I need to complain
  • You're...so manly - You need a shave and you sweat a lot
  • You're certainly attentive tonight! - Is sex all you ever think about?
  • I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! - I've got my period
  • This kitchen is so inconvenient - I want a new house
  • I want new curtains - and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
  • I need wedding shoes - the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
  • Hang the picture there - No, I mean hang it there!
  • I heard a noise - I noticed you were almost asleep
  • Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive
  • How much do you love me? - I did something today you're not going to like
  • I'll be ready in a minute - kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
  • Is my butt too big? - Tell me I'm beautiful
  • You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me
  • Yes - No
  • No - No
  • Maybe - No
  • I'm sorry - You'll be sorry
  • Do you like this recipe? - It's easy to fix so you'd better get used to it
  • I'm not yelling! - Yes I'm yelling because I think it's important
  • All we're going to buy is a soap dish - It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses, and those sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

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