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The Man's Guide To Female English

  • We need - I want
  • It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now
  • Do what you want - You'll pay for this later
  • We need to talk - I need to complain
  • You're...so manly - You need a shave and you sweat a lot
  • You're certainly attentive tonight! - Is sex all you ever think about?
  • I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! - I've got my period
  • This kitchen is so inconvenient - I want a new house
  • I want new curtains - and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
  • I need wedding shoes - the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
  • Hang the picture there - No, I mean hang it there!
  • I heard a noise - I noticed you were almost asleep
  • Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive
  • How much do you love me? - I did something today you're not going to like
  • I'll be ready in a minute - kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
  • Is my butt too big? - Tell me I'm beautiful
  • You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me
  • Yes - No
  • No - No
  • Maybe - No
  • I'm sorry - You'll be sorry
  • Do you like this recipe? - It's easy to fix so you'd better get used to it
  • I'm not yelling! - Yes I'm yelling because I think it's important
  • All we're going to buy is a soap dish - It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses, and those sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

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Fate brought us together

One weekend I was home alone and I was feeling down because I just had a fight with my first son's father. When my best friend called me up and asked me if I wanted to go out with her to a dance club. Not really wanting to go, I accepted the invitation anyway and told her the only way we would go is if we take the initiative at the dance club and take the men out to dance. Well to my surprise we go to the dance club and as we are walking to the back of the dance club, I spotted a tall handsome man dancing. 

I just knew it in my heart that he was the one for me. My best friend at the time notices that I was eyeing him, she goes in front of his friend and starts dancing with him so the guy that I had my eye on turns around and we started to dance. When we were finished dancing we talked for awhile and exchanged numbers. That same night he called me and we spoke to each other until dawn. There was only one catch to this man. He lived in Virginia and I lived in NY. After speaking with him some more on the phone, he met me at my house before he left to Virginia and as we spent the day together, I started falling in love with him. He decided to stay in NY and spend a whole week with me. We fell in love and I moved to Virginia. Now we are happily married for 4 years and have one child together and raising my first son together. Fate brought us together !!!


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Let Me Love You

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hard work and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...
"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore. He had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his precious paper cranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.




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The CD Boy

A boy walked into a CD store and saw a girl behind the counter.

She smiled and he thought it was the most beautiful smile he has ever seen before and wanted to kiss her right there.

He said "Uh... Yeah... Umm... I would like to buy a CD." He picked one out and gave her money for it.

"Would you like me to wrap it for you?" she asked, smiling her cute smile again.

He nodded and she went to the back.

She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on, he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out and he really wanted to but he couldn't. His mother found out about this and told him to just ask her.

So the next day, he took all his courage and went to the store. He bought a CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his phone number on the desk and ran out...

!!!RRRRRING!!!

The mother picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"

It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and said, "You don't know? He passed away yesterday...

" The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy's mother. Later in the day. The mother went into the boy's room because she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. So she opened the closet. She was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was surprised to find all those CDs and she picked one up and sat down on the bed and she started to open one.

Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out of the wrapper, out fell a piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it.

It said: Hi... I think you are really cute. Do you wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn

The mother opened another CD...

Again there was a piece of paper. It said: Hi... I think you are really cute. Do you wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn


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eyes

There was a blind girl who was filled with animosity and despised the world.

She didn't have many friends, just a boyfriend who loved her deeply, like no one else.


She always used to say that she'd marry him if she could see him. Suddenly, one day someone donated her a pair of eyes…


And that's when she finally saw her boyfriend…


She was astonished to see that her boyfriend too was blind…

He told her, "You can see me now, can we get married?"

She replied, "And do what? We'd never be happy. I have my eye sight now, but you're still blind. It won't work out, I'm sorry."


With a tear in his eye and a smile on his face, he meekly said, "I understand. I just want you to always be happy. Take care of yourself, and my eyes."  


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